They Don’t Make Them Like They Used To

As I head toward another milestone, I notice new aches and pains wafting through. Some stay for just a moment, like the smell of freshly baked bread when walking past a bakery; others manage to linger like the scent of a garbage truck stopped at a red light. I lamented these thoughts to my wife, and she replied, "I'm going to trade you in for a new model." We laughed.

 I thought about a reply and circled back to her a while later. She is used to besting me and allowing time to pass before my retort. My comeback was the following. "You know, they don't make them like they used to. It will probably last five years. You won't even have finished paying for it. The repairs will be more expensive, and there will be a lot of them. It will come with a computer you won't know how to use. And He'll have a lot of fancy buttons you won't know how to push. You already know how to push all my buttons." 

My wife simply replied. "Maybe I'll get a sporty model this time." 

I was ready. "Fine, I'll end up in some antique shop where a pretty young woman just starting out will come looking for something vintage. She'll snap me up, take me to her new condo at the beach, and adore me. She will show me off to all her friends." Being a quick wit, my wife said, "Soon, she'll get a new toy, and you'll be placed on the back of a shelf and start collecting dust again." 

I was prepared yet again. "She'll move from her condo to a big house and sell me as an expensive antique. I'll end up in a museum where everyone will look at me in awe. They'll write songs and stories about me. 

My wife's final volley: "Okay, I won't trade you in. Instead, I'll upgrade you, put you in the garage, and wait until you turn into that expensive antique. Then, if I remember you're there, I'll sell you at a high society auction and retire with enough money to buy as many new models as I wish." 

We burst into laughter and embrace. My point is that when you find someone you can love, they make you laugh and help keep you sharp; everything else is icing. So make the most of the person you're with. 

They don't make them like they Used to.